- Growing From Grief

Growing from Grief

1.              Newfound independence

Losing a parent means losing a part of your life. Maybe that parent served as a safety net for you. Living without a person who played the role of caregiver will allow you to take on the roles that this parent played in your life. You have to learn to do things for yourself, and this is a large step in maturation.

2.              A Clearer View of one’s self

Upon the death of a parent you are forced to face your own mortality. Realize how precious life is and how to make the most of yours.

3.              Redirected Energy

If your parent was sick for a long time, the role of caregiver might have given you a sense of purpose. You now must let go of that role, and take care of yourself. Reconnect with friends you might have distanced yourself from during this troubled time. Spend time thinking about what is good for you.

4.              Changes in family structure

Certain familiar patterns in your family will change. For example, maybe you never know what your brother is up to because your mom isn’t here anymore to spread the news. Use this as an opportunity to create your own family traditions. Your family must establish new rituals and relationships, and this may take time.

5.              Review other relationships

It is essential to remember that a spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend cannot fill the void that your parent’s death has caused. This may take time to understand, but you cannot compare your girlfriend to your deceased mother. Your mother is now immortal, and your girlfriend never will be. Try hard to distinguish between the relationships, and express your feelings to your significant other; they can’t comfort you if they don’t understand.